Saturday, March 1, 2014

One Week Mark

It seems like its been both longer and shorter than a whole week since H and A were placed with me. We've all finally gotten into a routine and figured each other out. Now we are at the fun stage of learning to balance everyone's own personalities and expectations.


I got a call tonight to set up an appointment to have someone come over and do a trauma assessment. I have no idea what this is and was not even aware that this was expected so getting the phone call this afternoon threw me a little. So pray for the girls tomorrow afternoon as they tell yet another DFCS person their story. So far none of the workers have held even close to a normal conversation with the girls so they aren't exactly warming up to meeting new people in the system. Heck, they don't even bother to learn their names because they know that they don't need to.

We got H's room all set up today. Previously she was using the (very nice) queen blow up bed and also had the crib in her room. Today I disassembled the crib, borrowed a twin bed from my parents, and put the blow up bed away. It is officially her room now.

Last night we ended up with a neighbor girl spending the night. On the one hand, I am so thankful they have someone next door to be friends with, on the other it basically means that I have another 13 year old living with us half the time. She's had dinner with us twice already and possibly is going to church with us tomorrow. At this point, I'm glad my parents raised me to be "the more the merrier" attitude =)

Also, just to prove how wacky your life as a foster kid can be- I had to tell H that not only was she using the wrong last name her whole life, she also is not 13 like her mom told her, she is 14 according to her birth records. She took it well but now she is two years behind in school and I feel like I need to contact the guidance counselor at her school and see if there is anyway we can get her up to at least only a year behind. Tutoring, summer school, working at home more intensely. There has got to be a way to get her back on track. But I guess that all depends on how long she will even be with me.

On another note: I am seriously struggling with deciding if I should let H have access to her Facebook page. I got the official go-ahead from the worker but I see all the pitfalls. Being in contact with her birth family, giving out information that DFCS says isn't allowed, and then just all the normal issues with teens and social media. Am I ready to handle monitoring it? Is she ready to be so restricted on what she can/can't do? Will it place an unnecessary strain on our relationship? I see all those sides. But I also see the good in it too. I see a girl who left behind a lot of friends that she wants to keep in touch with. Who wants to connect online with the new friends she is making and to keep one part of her previous life. I'm just stuck on what it being a good parent looks like in this situation. Any thoughts?

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